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- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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Hey! I noticed someone
ate all the Oreos I bought,
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which is crazy because
I've had them in the house
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for less than 24 hours.
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I didn't want to say anything,
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but I think the contractor ate them.
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- Liar! He is a liar!
- [ALL REACTING]
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I watched him eat the whole thing.
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Cookie Bogarter!
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Really? The contractor?
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Yeah. And if you want to
blow up the renovations
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'cause of some cookies,
I got your back 100%,
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but I think that might be shortsighted.
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I witnessed the gluttonous
feast; it was unseemly.
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There was shame in the man's eyes.
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Wait, what are you looking
at? Is it the ghosts?
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Crumbs everywhere! Why not use plate?
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They're telling on me, aren't they?
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- You are busted.
- [SIGHS] This isn't fair.
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You got a whole team of
spies watching my every move.
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I mean, they don't tell me everything.
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Well, one of the cookies
fell to the floor,
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after which he ate it.
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- Oh, you ate a floor Oreo?
- Not cool, guys!
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Not cool.
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I would have called it a "Flooreo."
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That's just my improv
training kicking in.
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[LAUGHS] Flooreo.
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I wish I possessed the
ability to write that down.
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♪
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You know, every time I
talk to the contractor,
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it's like he adds another
two weeks to the timeline,
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or five grand to the budget.
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Well, you know what? Here's an idea.
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Next time we see him,
let's just run away.
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Bulletproof plan, babe.
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Hi, there. [LAUGHS]
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Oh, who's this?
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Henry and Margaret Farnsby.
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Wealthy next-door
neighbors. Total squares.
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Henry and Margaret Farnsby.
Wealthy next-door neighbors.
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Total squares.
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Did you just say, "total squares?"
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Ghost word. I guess they're uptight.
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Yeah, man, they're
all like "rules, yay!"
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Oh, butterfly.
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I'm Margaret Farnsby.
This is my husband, Henry.
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- Hey.
- We've been dying to swing by, say welcome.
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Drop off some of my
award-winning cupcakes.
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First place at the St.
Anne's parish bake sale
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seven years running.
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Not that we like to brag.
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He's lying, we love to brag.
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[BOTH LAUGHING]
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You are so sweet. I'm
Samantha, this is Jay.
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Fair warning, he's a pretty
talented chef himself.
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Yeah, might give your cupcakes
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a run for their money
this year, Margaret.
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Well, I certainly don't think
that would be appreciated.
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Oh, no, I was kidding.
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Oh! [LAUGHING]
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Our new neighbors are funny.
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I love it!
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- [SNEEZES]
- Bless you.
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Pardon. Uh, allergies.
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HETTY: Sneezing in
public. So unladylike.
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I told her a nip of cocaine
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would wipe that hay fever
right out, but does she listen?
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I'm sorry, did you say cocaine?
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Mm-hmm. Everyone knows cocaine's
excellent for allergies.
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Okay, well, in the 1980s it
was a Schedule II narcotic.
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Well, Peter, in the 1880s
it was a medical wonder drug.
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From headache to hysteria,
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four out of five barbers prefer cocaine.
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We heard you're doing some construction,
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emphasis on the "heard."
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Sorry, it'll just be a little while.
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We're fixing the place up.
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Yeah, we're gonna turn it into
a pretty sick bed-and-breakfast.
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Pretty sick?
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No... Oh, sick is like,
it's a good thing.
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Yeah. It's like slang.
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Slang and earrings.
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[LAUGHS] That's fun.
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I don't love the idea of
a "pretty sick" business
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adjoining our property.
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Well, you know, I think,
I think you're just
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getting caught up on that one phrase.
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Well, I don't know if
you're aware, but the zoning
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rules of our local
Historical Preservation Board
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require you to seek a permit
to operate as a B and B.
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Oh, I'm aware. We've
applied for all the permits.
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[CHUCKLING] Oh, yeah, every single one.
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Well, I-I don't see
this getting approved.
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[LAUGHS] Well, uh, with all due respect,
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it's not really up to you.
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HENRY: Actually, it is.
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You see, I'm the head of
the Preservation Board.
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Enjoy those cupcakes. [BOTH LAUGH]
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HETTY: Oh, I loathe the Farnsbys.
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They've been the Woodstone
family rivals for generations.
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Oh, yeah, their family were
also robber barons, right?
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Yes, but please don't put
us in the same category.
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The children that worked in
our factories were far happier.
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Hey, hey, Henry! Margaret!
Wait up, wait up, wait up.
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Listen, I-I think you got the
wrong impression of us, okay?
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We're not some young, crazy city folk
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trying to run a rock 'n' roll hotel.
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No. We're not even that cool.
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I mean, Jay, he plays
with action figures.
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Well, I don't play with
them, 'cause if you play
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with them it lowers value.
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- See? Not cool.
- Okay.
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Uh, you know what?
Why don't you guys just
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come over for dinner
tonight, and then you'll see.
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You'll see, we're-we're
just a normal couple.
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Well, I suppose I wouldn't mind
a meal from a professional chef.
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Yes, we'd love to come.
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Great.
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- Already got dessert.
- Oh. [CHUCKLES]
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I just want to pet you.
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Whee-hee-hee.
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So, I'm thinking we go
full charm offensive.
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We butter them up, and then we reopen
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the discussion about the B and B.
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Mm-hmm.
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Oh! This is too much
food for just two people.
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Wait a minute, are we
having a dinner party?
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Yeah, we sort of made a bad
impression on the neighbors.
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Yeah, I know. I was there.
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- Oh, Pete just came in.
- The arrow guy?
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Or the award-winning travel
agent or the great dad.
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But sure, Arrow Guy, let's go with that.
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So, what time is soup on?
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You know, it's kind
of a big night for us,
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so I was sort of hoping
maybe you guys would
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just give us some space.
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Uh, yes, sir, Pete, you gots to go.
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- No ghosts allowed.
- But we love dinner parties.
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The smells, the fashions,
the banter. [CHUCKLES]
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But sure, there's other stuff we can do.
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- Yeah, is that okay?
- Yeah.
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There's a spider in the
attic that's spinning
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some pretty interesting stuff.
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Oh, and I haven't tried to
remember all the Star Trek
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characters' names in a bit.
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I mean, there's Spock, obviously.
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What is she talking about, we
can't attend the dinner party?
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Who is coming?
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Well, the Farnsbys.
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All the more reason to have us.
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They're terrible company.
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No, Samantha will be
appreciative we're there.
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She actually explicitly
said she'd appreciate it
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if we were not there.
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But there hasn't been
a dinner party here
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in over a decade; this isn't fair.
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Ah, I live for dinner parties.
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The repartee, the gentle
mocking of the hostess
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when she leaves the room.
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"You call those potatoes, Abigail?"
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[LAUGHTER]
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That kind of thing, you know.
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- It's settled. We shall attend.
- Yes.
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Wait, what are we attending?
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Guys, she was really adamant.
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She does not want us there.
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Oh, fine. Then, as a
compromise for Samantha,
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I shall limit the guest list to me
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and three ghosts of my choosing.
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No, that is not what she wants.
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Wait, why do you get to choose?
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HETTY: Because I built this house.
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And that smart aleck
question, along with your
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incomplete formal attire,
leaves you out in the cold.
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You can't keep me out.
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No, but Thor can, as my muscle
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and my dear honored guest.
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Yes! Made list! Congratulations.
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The other two attendees shall be...
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Alberta and Isaac.
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Huzzah!
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I had plans, but I'll
move some things around.
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Okay, this is insane. When I was alive,
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I threw the party. I... I made
the par... I was the party.
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Hetty, please. I need this.
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This sad display certainly made
me confident in my decision.
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[SCOFFS]
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Welcome to our humble abode.
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Thank you.
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We brought you a bottle
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- from our private collection.
- Thank you.
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00:06:37,241 --> 00:06:40,413
Damn, that is some
good shh... chardonnay.
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00:06:40,456 --> 00:06:41,933
Let me show you to the dining room.
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00:06:41,977 --> 00:06:46,366
Presenting neighbors
Henry and Margaret Farnsby.
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00:06:46,408 --> 00:06:48,799
- Thor, what are you doing?
- Hetty told me to.
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00:06:48,841 --> 00:06:50,666
Oh, no.
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00:06:50,710 --> 00:06:52,883
Samantha, is this tablecloth a joke?
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00:06:52,926 --> 00:06:54,490
It is for a picnic.
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00:06:54,534 --> 00:06:56,662
Ooh. What vintage is that? Let me see.
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00:06:56,706 --> 00:06:58,184
[GASPING]
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00:06:58,227 --> 00:07:00,225
No... [WHIMPERS SOFTLY]
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A... Woodstone Mansion tradition!
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00:07:03,875 --> 00:07:05,091
[CHUCKLING] He is so funny.
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00:07:05,135 --> 00:07:07,481
And you are so clumsy.
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00:07:07,525 --> 00:07:08,524
Service!
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00:07:14,260 --> 00:07:15,736
So what do you guys do for fun?
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00:07:15,780 --> 00:07:19,213
You know what we've just
recently discovered is pickleball.
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00:07:19,257 --> 00:07:20,516
- Mm.
- HENRY: Yeah. Fastest growing sport
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00:07:20,559 --> 00:07:22,341
in America. That's true.
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00:07:22,384 --> 00:07:23,601
- [CHUCKLES]
- THORFINN: Boring!
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00:07:23,644 --> 00:07:24,991
- [SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
- Thor tell better story
213
00:07:25,035 --> 00:07:27,034
of time he battled pack of wolves.
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00:07:27,076 --> 00:07:28,511
- But it's not squash.
- No.
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00:07:28,554 --> 00:07:29,466
- That's a common misconception.
- [CHUCKLES] Mm-hmm.
216
00:07:29,510 --> 00:07:30,813
She-wolf lunge at Thor.
217
00:07:30,857 --> 00:07:33,203
Thor grab she-wolf by neck,
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00:07:33,247 --> 00:07:36,462
gouge eyes and then
punch in genital! [YELLS]
219
00:07:36,506 --> 00:07:37,939
- ... any other sports.
- Mm.
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00:07:37,982 --> 00:07:39,677
I'm sorry. Is it my drinking?
221
00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:40,937
Am I overdoing it?
222
00:07:40,980 --> 00:07:42,545
I told you, honey, people notice.
223
00:07:42,589 --> 00:07:44,587
Oh, no, no, I just
had an itch on my neck.
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If anything, you're not drinking enough.
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00:07:46,281 --> 00:07:48,541
Little more? [CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
226
00:07:48,671 --> 00:07:50,800
Thor! No one at a classy dinner party
227
00:07:50,844 --> 00:07:52,364
wants to hear about you murdering
228
00:07:52,408 --> 00:07:54,928
- a pack of wolves!
- SAMANTHA: Tell me more about pickleball.
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00:07:54,971 --> 00:07:56,319
Cammy MacGregor, Tyson McGuffin...
230
00:07:56,362 --> 00:07:58,013
- these are some of the giants of the sport.
- Mm-hmm.
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00:07:58,056 --> 00:08:00,316
- Not literal giants, of course. [LAUGHS]
- [LAUGHS]
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00:08:00,359 --> 00:08:04,661
- [LAUGHS]
- Height is a huge disadvantage in pickleball...
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00:08:04,704 --> 00:08:06,138
Psst. Hey. Hetty.
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00:08:06,181 --> 00:08:08,137
Not on the list. Security?
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00:08:08,180 --> 00:08:10,309
- [GROANS]
- ... because of the height of the net and...
236
00:08:10,352 --> 00:08:12,221
- Sorry.
- I... I'm actually here for Trevor.
237
00:08:12,264 --> 00:08:14,002
The poor guy seems really torn up.
238
00:08:14,045 --> 00:08:15,436
Now, I know Hetty said no,
239
00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:17,174
- but what do you think, Sam?
- Uh, which is often
240
00:08:17,218 --> 00:08:18,955
- mispronounced as "bad-mitten."
- Mm.
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00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:20,519
- [CHUCKLES] Silent "N"?
- Sam.
242
00:08:20,563 --> 00:08:21,997
- No, no. [LAUGHS]
- Oh, no, can she not hear us anymore?
243
00:08:22,040 --> 00:08:23,343
- Hey, Sam?
- No silent "N."
244
00:08:23,387 --> 00:08:25,647
- Sam?! Sam!
- Uh, but, uh...
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00:08:25,689 --> 00:08:26,906
Enough.
246
00:08:26,949 --> 00:08:29,600
Of sitting around
this table. Am I right?
247
00:08:29,644 --> 00:08:32,555
Jay, why don't you take
our guests for a tour?
248
00:08:32,598 --> 00:08:33,945
Okay.
249
00:08:33,989 --> 00:08:35,119
Yeah.
250
00:08:35,162 --> 00:08:37,117
Huh, it's a little bit weird, but...
251
00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:39,290
it was an awfully creamy bisque.
252
00:08:39,333 --> 00:08:40,810
JAY: Just follow me this way
253
00:08:40,853 --> 00:08:43,764
and we'll walk that cream
right off. [CHUCKLES]
254
00:08:44,677 --> 00:08:47,111
Okay, you guys have to
behave. There is a lot
255
00:08:47,154 --> 00:08:48,935
riding on this dinner for us.
256
00:08:48,979 --> 00:08:50,065
Like what?
257
00:08:50,109 --> 00:08:51,585
Details aren't important.
258
00:08:51,629 --> 00:08:53,715
Maybe we get general area?
259
00:08:53,758 --> 00:08:56,321
Fine. We have to win over the Farnsbys
260
00:08:56,365 --> 00:08:58,059
so they give us a permit
to open our B and B.
261
00:08:58,103 --> 00:08:59,103
[GASPS]
262
00:08:59,146 --> 00:09:00,840
But we don't want the B and B.
263
00:09:00,884 --> 00:09:03,230
I know. That's why I
was hiding it from you.
264
00:09:03,274 --> 00:09:05,707
A few guests at a dinner
party, we can deal with.
265
00:09:05,749 --> 00:09:07,009
But a full hotel?
266
00:09:07,053 --> 00:09:09,008
My God, that'd be chaos.
267
00:09:09,052 --> 00:09:10,486
Oh, I wasn't thinking
it'd be anything like that.
268
00:09:10,529 --> 00:09:11,963
I thought it'd be small and quaint,
269
00:09:12,006 --> 00:09:13,310
like the inn on Newhart.
270
00:09:13,354 --> 00:09:14,570
[CHUCKLES] Is that what
you were thinking, Sam?
271
00:09:14,614 --> 00:09:16,091
I don't know what Newhartis,
272
00:09:16,134 --> 00:09:17,568
but I like that you're on my side.
273
00:09:17,612 --> 00:09:20,896
Really? Delightful sitcom
about a stammering innkeeper?
274
00:09:21,039 --> 00:09:22,912
Nothing? It was really
popular in the '80s.
275
00:09:22,956 --> 00:09:24,737
I wasn't even alive in the '80s, Pete.
276
00:09:24,781 --> 00:09:27,127
Well, I'm not alive now
but I still love Newhart.
277
00:09:27,171 --> 00:09:29,125
We don't want hotel!
278
00:09:29,169 --> 00:09:30,168
- Absolutely not.
- Mm-mm. No.
279
00:09:30,169 --> 00:09:31,298
Well, you should want hotel,
280
00:09:31,342 --> 00:09:33,167
because no hotel, no me.
281
00:09:33,210 --> 00:09:34,643
Who helps you watch TV?
282
00:09:35,426 --> 00:09:37,381
Who is writing your memoir?
283
00:09:37,425 --> 00:09:39,900
Well, actually, on that,
I do have a few notes.
284
00:09:39,944 --> 00:09:41,248
If we can't build the B and B,
285
00:09:41,291 --> 00:09:42,595
we're gonna have to sell this place.
286
00:09:42,638 --> 00:09:44,246
And God knows who would buy it.
287
00:09:44,289 --> 00:09:46,461
Certainly not somebody
who can actually see you
288
00:09:46,505 --> 00:09:49,025
and do things for you and help
make your afterlives better.
289
00:09:49,069 --> 00:09:52,110
So unless you want to
throw all that away,
290
00:09:52,154 --> 00:09:53,327
I'm gonna need your help.
291
00:09:53,370 --> 00:09:54,369
All right. We will help,
292
00:09:54,413 --> 00:09:56,585
but it will be begrudgingly.
293
00:09:58,453 --> 00:09:59,757
Well?
294
00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:00,799
It was a hard no.
295
00:10:00,843 --> 00:10:02,538
You're still not invited.
296
00:10:02,581 --> 00:10:03,711
Ugh. Bummer.
297
00:10:03,754 --> 00:10:04,970
Come on.
298
00:10:05,014 --> 00:10:06,622
Trevor, you are not
taking this well, huh?
299
00:10:06,666 --> 00:10:09,750
Okay, look, I never
told anyone this, but...
300
00:10:09,793 --> 00:10:13,096
in 1999, I was left off the guest list
301
00:10:13,140 --> 00:10:16,615
for a Fourth of July party on a yacht.
302
00:10:16,659 --> 00:10:18,266
There were Maximmodels there.
303
00:10:18,310 --> 00:10:19,787
There was...
304
00:10:19,831 --> 00:10:22,785
a vodka luge that looked like cleavage.
305
00:10:22,829 --> 00:10:26,087
[INHALES DEEPLY] And I heard
that a guy from Bear Stearns
306
00:10:26,131 --> 00:10:29,085
made out with Natasha Henstridge.
307
00:10:30,866 --> 00:10:33,300
That could've been me, Pete.
308
00:10:33,343 --> 00:10:34,907
That could've been me.
309
00:10:34,950 --> 00:10:37,427
Trevor, I did not understand that story
310
00:10:37,471 --> 00:10:38,905
or the points you were making,
311
00:10:38,948 --> 00:10:40,382
but I am so sorry.
312
00:10:40,425 --> 00:10:42,684
Being left out hurts.
313
00:10:42,728 --> 00:10:45,379
One time, my throuple
made love without me.
314
00:10:45,422 --> 00:10:47,247
Just the two of them.
315
00:10:48,029 --> 00:10:49,897
How does that even work?
316
00:10:49,940 --> 00:10:52,200
Okay, guys, this isn't over.
317
00:10:52,243 --> 00:10:53,330
HENRY: If you like
318
00:10:53,374 --> 00:10:55,285
ordinance 6.B.12, you are going
319
00:10:55,328 --> 00:10:58,674
to love ordinance 6.B.13.
320
00:10:58,718 --> 00:11:00,846
- I'm at the edge of my seat.
- Makes two of us. [CHUCKLES]
321
00:11:00,890 --> 00:11:03,193
Oh, gadzooks, what a
couple of lickspittles.
322
00:11:03,236 --> 00:11:04,540
ALBERTA: Excuse me,
323
00:11:04,583 --> 00:11:06,191
didn't Sam instruct us
to clam up our kissers?
324
00:11:06,234 --> 00:11:07,320
HETTY: Yes.
325
00:11:07,364 --> 00:11:08,493
If I can reserve comment
326
00:11:08,537 --> 00:11:09,840
on Sam's whorish
lipstick, the rest of you
327
00:11:09,884 --> 00:11:11,057
can hold your tongues.
328
00:11:11,101 --> 00:11:13,316
HENRY: ... to smaller lots and-and...
329
00:11:14,620 --> 00:11:16,271
Uh, everything all right?
330
00:11:16,314 --> 00:11:19,182
Yes. I-I was just checking my makeup,
331
00:11:19,225 --> 00:11:21,007
which, if anything,
332
00:11:21,050 --> 00:11:23,527
is conservative by today's standards.
333
00:11:24,092 --> 00:11:27,133
Let's say I want to turn
the garage into a man cave.
334
00:11:27,177 --> 00:11:30,044
Now, that is a very
interesting question.Mm.
335
00:11:30,088 --> 00:11:32,608
Uh, the garage constitutes
an existing structure,
336
00:11:32,651 --> 00:11:34,954
the demolition of which
is strictly prohibited.
337
00:11:34,998 --> 00:11:37,257
But, uh, making changes to the interior,
338
00:11:37,300 --> 00:11:41,645
that only requires permission
from the M.R.S. department.
339
00:11:41,689 --> 00:11:44,122
- M.R.S.?
- The missus.
340
00:11:44,166 --> 00:11:46,815
Oh! [LAUGHTER]
341
00:11:46,859 --> 00:11:48,901
[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]
342
00:11:48,945 --> 00:11:50,509
No dinner, no peace!
343
00:11:50,552 --> 00:11:52,681
No dinner, no peace!
344
00:11:52,724 --> 00:11:54,810
- We're crashing the party!
- Oh, God, no.
345
00:11:54,854 --> 00:11:56,027
What is the meaning of this, showing up
346
00:11:56,071 --> 00:11:57,504
to a dinner party uninvited? Thorfinn.
347
00:11:57,547 --> 00:12:00,111
Hey, man, this is a nonviolent protest.
348
00:12:00,155 --> 00:12:02,370
- Not anymore. Come here. Hey, hey.
- [SQUEAKS]
349
00:12:02,414 --> 00:12:04,326
Ooh, that looks yummy. Are
you gonna finish smelling that?
350
00:12:04,369 --> 00:12:06,020
- I'm gonna make you my little farm boy!
- [GRUNTING]
351
00:12:06,064 --> 00:12:08,931
Well, if everybody's just
doing what they want...
352
00:12:08,975 --> 00:12:11,104
- ♪ I've had a man... ♪
- TREVOR: Thor,
353
00:12:11,147 --> 00:12:13,233
- you're making them look...
- Sam? Sam.
354
00:12:13,276 --> 00:12:14,623
- ... so crazy!
- [YELLS]
355
00:12:14,667 --> 00:12:17,838
... any changes you like
to the interior of, uh...
356
00:12:17,881 --> 00:12:20,619
[SHOUTING] Oh! His teeth are so sharp!
357
00:12:20,663 --> 00:12:22,574
Hallway now!
358
00:12:22,617 --> 00:12:24,790
Jay, can we please meet
up in the hallway now?
359
00:12:24,834 --> 00:12:25,920
We need to check the breaker.
360
00:12:25,964 --> 00:12:28,049
These lights are acting up. Excuse us.
361
00:12:28,092 --> 00:12:30,135
Yeah. S... sorry.
362
00:12:31,264 --> 00:12:32,611
SAMANTHA: Okay,
363
00:12:32,654 --> 00:12:35,001
I'm gonna put this
plainly for all of you.
364
00:12:35,044 --> 00:12:38,172
You need to back off and let us
have our dinner party in peace.
365
00:12:38,216 --> 00:12:40,431
Oh, yeah! It's definitely the breaker!
366
00:12:40,475 --> 00:12:41,648
HETTY: Samantha, I must protest.
367
00:12:41,691 --> 00:12:42,778
We have just as much of a right
368
00:12:42,821 --> 00:12:44,473
to attend this dinner party as you.
369
00:12:44,516 --> 00:12:46,471
No. Because this is our house.
370
00:12:46,514 --> 00:12:47,949
We've been here longer than you.
371
00:12:47,992 --> 00:12:48,990
Yeah, and guess what...
372
00:12:48,991 --> 00:12:50,208
we're alive.
373
00:12:50,251 --> 00:12:51,381
- [GASPING] Hey.
- Ooh.
374
00:12:51,424 --> 00:12:52,902
- Alive? [SCOFFS]
- Ouch.
375
00:12:52,946 --> 00:12:55,769
[SCOFFS] Didn't expect you
to drop the A-word on us.
376
00:12:55,813 --> 00:12:56,811
Not cool.
377
00:12:56,812 --> 00:12:58,419
She is worse than wolf.
378
00:12:58,463 --> 00:13:00,462
No, it... it wasn't supposed...
379
00:13:00,505 --> 00:13:03,109
This is not the kind of thing
that would ever happen on Newhart.
380
00:13:03,110 --> 00:13:06,327
It was gentle humor. Never at
anyone's expense. Never mean.
381
00:13:06,371 --> 00:13:07,761
Unlike some people.
382
00:13:11,976 --> 00:13:15,973
... and may I just say,
your duck was fantastic.
383
00:13:16,017 --> 00:13:18,493
You may. And you may say it again.
384
00:13:18,537 --> 00:13:19,666
[LAUGHING]
385
00:13:19,710 --> 00:13:21,882
Jay, I feel terrible about the ghosts.
386
00:13:21,926 --> 00:13:23,403
I know. You'll fix it later, okay?
387
00:13:23,447 --> 00:13:24,749
- Eyes on the prize.
- Okay.
388
00:13:24,793 --> 00:13:25,879
Should I open another one?
389
00:13:25,923 --> 00:13:27,357
Ooh! Oh, I don't know.
390
00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:29,138
If I let Margie have another glass,
391
00:13:29,182 --> 00:13:31,050
- I might have to leave her here overnight.
- Oh.
392
00:13:31,094 --> 00:13:32,267
- Fine with me. [LAUGHING]
- [LAUGHING]
393
00:13:32,310 --> 00:13:33,874
Zing. [LAUGHS] Ah, ha-ha!
394
00:13:33,918 --> 00:13:35,960
Oh, we're having such a good time.
395
00:13:36,004 --> 00:13:37,263
This is so fun. And...
396
00:13:37,306 --> 00:13:39,262
and while we're having so much fun,
397
00:13:39,305 --> 00:13:40,913
I was hoping maybe we could revisit
398
00:13:40,956 --> 00:13:42,521
that little zoning issue.
399
00:13:42,564 --> 00:13:43,737
Uh, you guys are fun.
400
00:13:43,781 --> 00:13:45,388
Maybe too much fun?
401
00:13:45,432 --> 00:13:46,474
Excuse me?
402
00:13:46,518 --> 00:13:47,778
This is a quiet community.
403
00:13:47,821 --> 00:13:49,429
We like quiet people.
404
00:13:49,472 --> 00:13:51,297
The last thing we need is
405
00:13:51,341 --> 00:13:53,774
some raucous hotel hosting pool parties
406
00:13:53,817 --> 00:13:55,599
and midnight raves. [CHUCKLES]
407
00:13:55,642 --> 00:13:57,597
That's great, because that's
not at all what we're planning.
408
00:13:57,640 --> 00:13:59,987
No, no! We're not even
thinking of this as a hotel.
409
00:14:00,030 --> 00:14:02,203
It'll be more like
a... a quaint B and B.
410
00:14:02,247 --> 00:14:04,332
- It's a few guests. It's a few families.
- Mm.
411
00:14:04,375 --> 00:14:06,896
It's gonna be very, very wholesome.
412
00:14:06,939 --> 00:14:08,372
[SNICKERS] Says Mr. Earrings.
413
00:14:08,416 --> 00:14:09,894
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
414
00:14:09,937 --> 00:14:11,110
[SIGHS, CHUCKLES]
415
00:14:11,154 --> 00:14:13,195
It'll be like Newhart.
416
00:14:13,239 --> 00:14:14,455
[GASPS SOFTLY]
417
00:14:15,412 --> 00:14:16,714
Whoa.
418
00:14:16,758 --> 00:14:18,366
You know Newhart?
419
00:14:18,410 --> 00:14:19,670
Yeah.
420
00:14:19,712 --> 00:14:22,276
I guess you could say
I know my favorite show.
421
00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:24,145
- I thought it was Sex and the City.
- [SQUEAKING]
422
00:14:24,188 --> 00:14:25,752
- Talk about a finale.
- Oh.
423
00:14:25,795 --> 00:14:28,577
- Oh. I could. All day.
- Favorite episode?
424
00:14:28,620 --> 00:14:30,445
- You... you go first.
- [SQUEALS SOFTLY] Uh...
425
00:14:30,488 --> 00:14:34,008
I will. As soon as I go to the bathroom.
426
00:14:34,051 --> 00:14:35,919
And you go. Separately.
427
00:14:35,963 --> 00:14:37,918
But I know his schedule. [CHUCKLES] Mm.
428
00:14:37,962 --> 00:14:39,396
JAY: Me, too.
429
00:14:39,438 --> 00:14:42,176
Uh... yep.
430
00:14:43,567 --> 00:14:45,521
Please, Pete, I need
your Newhartknowledge.
431
00:14:45,565 --> 00:14:48,606
Is a sentence my wife just
said to an invisible person.
432
00:14:48,650 --> 00:14:49,954
I want to help, but...
433
00:14:49,997 --> 00:14:51,735
I got to stick with
my troop on this one.
434
00:14:51,778 --> 00:14:53,386
Please, please, please,
please, please, please?
435
00:14:53,429 --> 00:14:55,906
Seriously, man? You
just told us to get lost.
436
00:14:55,950 --> 00:14:58,426
Now she's begging for reinforcements,
437
00:14:58,470 --> 00:15:01,294
like she's William Howe at
the Battle of White Plains.
438
00:15:01,337 --> 00:15:02,641
[LAUGHS]
439
00:15:02,684 --> 00:15:04,335
No? No? No White Plains
440
00:15:04,379 --> 00:15:06,204
- aficionados in the house?
- TREVOR: I love White Plains.
441
00:15:06,247 --> 00:15:08,766
Went to Laurie Schender's
bat mitzvah there in '82.
442
00:15:08,810 --> 00:15:10,244
Pretty exclusive invite, by the way.
443
00:15:10,288 --> 00:15:12,547
The kid from Silver Spoons was there.
444
00:15:12,590 --> 00:15:14,372
I feel terrible. I-I
mean, I know it seems
445
00:15:14,415 --> 00:15:16,544
like I'm just saying that
now because I need your help.
446
00:15:16,587 --> 00:15:18,022
But I felt bad before.
447
00:15:18,065 --> 00:15:19,716
Jay can back me up.
448
00:15:19,759 --> 00:15:22,454
Uh, yep. She felt really bad, people.
449
00:15:23,409 --> 00:15:26,190
- Like that's worth a damn.
- These nights are a big deal for us.
450
00:15:26,233 --> 00:15:28,015
It's our chance to feel human again,
451
00:15:28,058 --> 00:15:29,623
even if it's only for a few hours.
452
00:15:29,665 --> 00:15:32,403
But after tonight, a lot
of us are feeling less alive
453
00:15:32,447 --> 00:15:33,880
than we ever have.
454
00:15:33,924 --> 00:15:36,227
Look, I haven't been
around as long as you guys.
455
00:15:36,270 --> 00:15:38,443
And, apparently, I still
have a lot to learn.
456
00:15:38,566 --> 00:15:41,955
[INHALES] Because this isn't my house.
457
00:15:41,999 --> 00:15:43,475
This is our house.
458
00:15:43,519 --> 00:15:46,300
Do you really mean that, Samantha?
459
00:15:47,038 --> 00:15:48,516
I really do.
460
00:15:48,559 --> 00:15:49,732
I take it back.
461
00:15:49,776 --> 00:15:51,036
She less bad than wolf.
462
00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:52,469
SAMANTHA: Thank you, Thorfinn.
463
00:15:52,513 --> 00:15:54,207
And whether you guys
want to help or not,
464
00:15:54,251 --> 00:15:57,119
I want you to come back
and join us for dessert.
465
00:15:57,162 --> 00:15:58,770
- All of you.
- Yes!
466
00:15:58,813 --> 00:16:00,768
- All right.
- T-Money back in the game.
467
00:16:00,811 --> 00:16:03,072
Well, I suppose we accept.
468
00:16:03,115 --> 00:16:05,461
PETE: Now, something people don't know
469
00:16:05,505 --> 00:16:07,416
- is that the show's opening credits...
- Now, something people don't know
470
00:16:07,459 --> 00:16:09,328
- is that the show's opening credits...
- were filmed in New Hampshire.
471
00:16:09,371 --> 00:16:10,849
- ... were filmed in New Hampshire.
- Even though, as everyone...
472
00:16:10,849 --> 00:16:12,369
Even though, as we all know,
473
00:16:12,413 --> 00:16:14,628
the show took place in rural Vermont.
474
00:16:14,672 --> 00:16:15,889
You weren't kidding.
475
00:16:15,932 --> 00:16:18,322
You know your Newhart. I am impressed.
476
00:16:18,365 --> 00:16:20,537
Most people your age have absolutely
477
00:16:20,581 --> 00:16:22,536
no appreciation for classic television.
478
00:16:22,580 --> 00:16:25,057
- No, and forget about art...
- Ah.
479
00:16:25,100 --> 00:16:27,056
... wine, cinema,
480
00:16:27,098 --> 00:16:28,750
wine, jazz...
481
00:16:28,793 --> 00:16:31,269
Oh, jazz, we love jazz.
482
00:16:31,313 --> 00:16:32,965
If I had to name my favorite artists...
483
00:16:33,008 --> 00:16:34,398
Sidney Bechet, Fletcher Henderson.
484
00:16:34,441 --> 00:16:36,440
... Sidney Bechet, Fletcher Henderson.
485
00:16:36,484 --> 00:16:38,743
Louis Armstrong. [CHUCKLES]
486
00:16:38,786 --> 00:16:40,785
What? You talk, I listen.
487
00:16:40,828 --> 00:16:42,393
HENRY: Amazing. It is so rare
488
00:16:42,436 --> 00:16:44,131
to find someone who has an appreciation
489
00:16:44,174 --> 00:16:46,086
for anything that came before them.
490
00:16:46,130 --> 00:16:48,910
- Well, that's the problem with young people today.
- Well, that's the problem
491
00:16:48,954 --> 00:16:50,170
with young people today.
492
00:16:50,214 --> 00:16:52,039
Y... yes. Exactly. Exactly!
493
00:16:52,082 --> 00:16:53,820
- Exactly.
- Exactly!
494
00:16:53,864 --> 00:16:54,950
Exactly.
495
00:16:54,993 --> 00:16:56,079
[CHUCKLING] Ha-ha-ha. Yeah.
496
00:16:56,123 --> 00:16:58,382
Young people are the worst.
497
00:16:58,425 --> 00:16:59,860
[LAUGHING]
498
00:16:59,903 --> 00:17:01,380
- That was incredible.
- Right?
499
00:17:01,423 --> 00:17:03,726
Call me crazy, but this
might actually work.
500
00:17:03,769 --> 00:17:04,899
- Mm-hmm.
- Wait,
501
00:17:04,943 --> 00:17:06,420
weren't there a lot
more of those before?
502
00:17:06,464 --> 00:17:07,506
Um...
503
00:17:07,550 --> 00:17:08,549
How many of those have you had today?
504
00:17:08,592 --> 00:17:10,070
Uh, he had at least four.
505
00:17:10,113 --> 00:17:12,155
- One?
- Cupcake Bogarter.
506
00:17:12,199 --> 00:17:14,632
They're telling on me, aren't they?
507
00:17:14,675 --> 00:17:16,109
I can't live like this.
508
00:17:16,978 --> 00:17:18,629
- I have an idea.
- Mm-hmm.
509
00:17:18,672 --> 00:17:21,801
How about a morning game of pickleball?
510
00:17:21,845 --> 00:17:23,844
Uh, I don't think so.
511
00:17:23,886 --> 00:17:25,277
Oh, come on, dear.
512
00:17:25,320 --> 00:17:27,363
If we're not going to use
the court, then why on earth
513
00:17:27,406 --> 00:17:29,709
did we tear down the
carriage house to build it?
514
00:17:29,752 --> 00:17:31,099
Wait, tear down the carriage house?
515
00:17:31,142 --> 00:17:32,576
- Did you hear that?
- SAMANTHA: Ooh.
516
00:17:32,620 --> 00:17:34,445
Coffee and cupcakes.
517
00:17:34,488 --> 00:17:36,617
- Margaret, these look delicious.
- [CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
518
00:17:36,660 --> 00:17:38,529
So, just between the four of us...
519
00:17:38,572 --> 00:17:40,310
"And my other brother
Darryl." Just say it.
520
00:17:40,354 --> 00:17:41,483
And my other brother Darryl.
521
00:17:41,527 --> 00:17:42,613
- Oh! [LAUGHS]
- [LAUGHING]
522
00:17:42,656 --> 00:17:44,047
There's got to be
523
00:17:44,091 --> 00:17:45,916
something we can do about
this zoning issue, right?
524
00:17:45,959 --> 00:17:49,608
Jay, Samantha, I am man enough to admit
525
00:17:49,651 --> 00:17:51,433
when I have missed the mark.
526
00:17:51,476 --> 00:17:52,824
How 'bout this?
527
00:17:52,867 --> 00:17:56,612
- I'll push through the permits.
- Serious?
528
00:17:56,755 --> 00:17:58,215
Oh, my God. That's amazing.
529
00:17:58,216 --> 00:18:01,861
In exchange for a small donation
to the Historical Preservation Fund.
530
00:18:02,065 --> 00:18:03,846
Excuse me? [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
531
00:18:03,889 --> 00:18:06,062
H... how big a small donation?
532
00:18:06,105 --> 00:18:09,060
Well, a suggested donation is $20,000.
533
00:18:09,103 --> 00:18:10,972
Uh, you can make the check out to me.
534
00:18:11,015 --> 00:18:12,188
The scoundrel.
535
00:18:12,232 --> 00:18:14,317
- So baller.
- Think it over.
536
00:18:14,360 --> 00:18:17,055
[CHUCKLES] And, uh, thank
you... here we go, Margaret...
537
00:18:17,097 --> 00:18:20,053
- Mm-hmm.
- Yes... uh, for an absolutely wonderful,
538
00:18:20,095 --> 00:18:21,312
wonderful evening.
539
00:18:21,355 --> 00:18:23,051
- We will show ourselves out.
- [CHUCKLES]
540
00:18:23,875 --> 00:18:25,787
JAY: Thank you so much for coming!
541
00:18:25,831 --> 00:18:27,656
I wasted the duck on a total shakedown.
542
00:18:27,699 --> 00:18:29,654
We can't afford $20,000.
543
00:18:29,697 --> 00:18:30,870
Uh, Samantha.
544
00:18:30,914 --> 00:18:31,913
What?
545
00:18:31,914 --> 00:18:34,564
We've come across some
information on the Farnsbys.
546
00:18:36,389 --> 00:18:38,735
And the train goes in the
tunnel, out the other side.
547
00:18:38,778 --> 00:18:41,081
- Well done, well done.
- Mm-hmm. Hey.
548
00:18:41,125 --> 00:18:44,297
Maybe next time we'll come
to your place for pickleball.
549
00:18:44,340 --> 00:18:46,122
- Oh. Oh.
- On your home court.
550
00:18:46,165 --> 00:18:48,555
Where the carriage house used to be.
551
00:18:48,598 --> 00:18:50,206
JAY: Wait a minute,
552
00:18:50,249 --> 00:18:52,031
that would violate ordinance 6.B.13,
553
00:18:52,074 --> 00:18:55,550
which says you can't
demolish existing structures.
554
00:18:55,593 --> 00:18:57,549
Oh, chardonnay.
555
00:18:57,592 --> 00:18:59,243
- [GHOSTS GASPING]
- ALBERTA: Take that.
556
00:18:59,287 --> 00:19:01,199
- Checkmate.
- Oh... ! Your wife is drunk.
557
00:19:01,242 --> 00:19:04,674
Are you trying to use my
own ordinances against me?
558
00:19:04,718 --> 00:19:05,847
Oh, no, no, no, no...
559
00:19:05,891 --> 00:19:07,411
Yes, that's exactly what we're doing.
560
00:19:07,455 --> 00:19:08,455
- Ooh! Mmm.
- Good for her.
561
00:19:08,498 --> 00:19:10,019
Mmm. Spicy lady.
562
00:19:10,062 --> 00:19:14,059
Well, this would certainly
be an awkward situation...
563
00:19:14,103 --> 00:19:17,188
if I hadn't been completely
kidding about the donation.
564
00:19:17,231 --> 00:19:19,664
[FORCED LAUGHTER]
565
00:19:19,708 --> 00:19:22,271
Congratulations on your permit.
566
00:19:22,314 --> 00:19:25,052
- [CHUCKLES] Come along, Margaret.
- [DOOR OPENS]
567
00:19:27,051 --> 00:19:28,310
SAMANTHA: Easy on the stairs.
568
00:19:28,354 --> 00:19:30,527
And we want access to
that pickleball court!
569
00:19:30,570 --> 00:19:33,698
- What? Why do we want that?
- I don't know. They made it sound fun.
570
00:19:33,741 --> 00:19:35,523
Take that, Farnsbys!
571
00:19:35,566 --> 00:19:38,564
Another generation
of Woodstone prevails.
572
00:19:39,564 --> 00:19:42,953
And that is how we do it in our house.
573
00:19:42,997 --> 00:19:45,777
Up top. No, just-just put your hand up.
574
00:19:46,342 --> 00:19:48,644
- Close enough.
- [CHUCKLES] ALBERTA: Ooh, girl.
575
00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:50,774
You throw one hell of a dinner party.
576
00:19:50,817 --> 00:19:51,947
Yeah, maybe next time I'll get invited.
577
00:19:51,991 --> 00:19:53,467
HETTY: Trevor, listen.
578
00:19:53,511 --> 00:19:57,074
Don't you know that to throw
a truly exclusive party,
579
00:19:57,117 --> 00:19:59,116
one needs a prominent snub.
580
00:19:59,160 --> 00:20:02,288
Of course. It's like when the
Blue Room wouldn't let Leo in.
581
00:20:02,332 --> 00:20:03,678
That's what put them on the map.
582
00:20:04,547 --> 00:20:06,806
You knew that, in this
house, I'm the Leo?
583
00:20:06,850 --> 00:20:08,110
Mm-hmm. You're the Leo.
584
00:20:08,154 --> 00:20:09,587
I'm the Leo.
585
00:20:10,326 --> 00:20:11,803
[WHISPERS]: I'm the Leo.
586
00:20:11,847 --> 00:20:13,237
[CHUCKLING]
587
00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:14,889
I am lying. It was the pants thing.
588
00:20:14,931 --> 00:20:18,624
Well, I guess the ghosts spying
on us really came in handy, huh?
589
00:20:18,668 --> 00:20:20,797
Uh, I don't have any personal privacy
590
00:20:20,841 --> 00:20:22,318
and I'm terrified to shower,
591
00:20:22,361 --> 00:20:24,273
but, yeah, I guess this time
they really came through.
592
00:20:24,317 --> 00:20:26,185
Hey, which one knew
so much about Newhart?
593
00:20:26,229 --> 00:20:28,401
- Oh, Pete.
- Oh! Arrow Guy!
594
00:20:28,444 --> 00:20:30,095
Way to hit the target, brother.
595
00:20:30,139 --> 00:20:33,354
"Arrow Guy"? Still?! Unbelievable!
596
00:20:34,953 --> 00:20:39,945
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